My advice to Grads

This is a crazy mixed up time
Enjoy it, enjoy each other
make memories, live life
take a few weeks to let it sink in
the rest of your life has just begun

If you were one of those goal driven few
the ones who always knew what they wanted to do
one of the ones who felt their calling
or one with a legacy of a family business to uphold
then go boldly in the direction of your dreams and
make them happen

For the rest of you relax
no one expects you to know at 18
what you want to do for the rest of your life
but don't just stand still and do nothing
try new things, many new things if that's what it takes
for you to find what you are meant to do

Some of you will go on to college
some to trade schools
some to the school of hard knocks
the important thing is that you keep learning
 and you never give up
you are all important no matter what role you may find yourself in

Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take
but by the moments that take your breath away
So don't forget to live
while you are out there scrambling to make a living

fake like everybody else

my smile does not quite reach my eyes
my have a good day sounds a bit hollow
my wave a bit automatic
I am on auto pilot just going through the motions

I use to care
I used to be genuine
I used to want to make a difference
I used to be real

I got tired of being used
I got sick of being taken advantage of
I got abused too many times
and mostly by those who were supposed to be friends

Doing the right thing

Why does doing the right thing hurt so bad?

Why do I always end up on the losing in end?

Shouldn't I come first at least once in awhile?

Why must I make all the sacrifices? 

When is it my turn to smile?

I do what is right in the eyes of the Lord.

I do what is right by the laws of the land.

I try my hardest to follow all of their commands.

I lift up my neighbors and my fellow man.

I try to do the best that I can.

I know this world doesn't revolve around me.

The sun doesn't shine out of my eyes.

I am nothing special, and never will be.

I just wish doing the right thing was easy.

rain on a sunny day

Sitting here crying on the inside
smiling on the outside
trying to be the good girl everyone expects me to be
the pain and fear I hide inside
would kill most, or make them lose their mind
my nightmares don't stop when I open my eyes
one day fades into the next with no end in sight

What did I do to deserve this life?
Was I not good enough?
Am I not good enough?
Can I ever be good enough?

childhood sucked could not wait to grow up
should never have bought into their lies
straight As in school
obeyed the golden rule
took the long way home
was the designated driver kept everyone safe
hid the signs of abuse to stop his fall from grace

What did I do to deserve this life?
Was I not good enough?
Am I not good enough?
Can I ever be good enough?

got married for reasons other than love
agreed to carry his child
best gift of my life, my little boy
things got tough
his love wasn't enough
sought comfort in the arms of another
it was not meant to be no love for me

What did I do to deserve this life?
Was I not good enough?
Am I not good enough?
Can I not be good enough?

years of stress and pain have taken their toll on my body
 am now just a shell of the person I used to be
I no longer can do the things that used to bring me joy
friends have all faded into the background
I can no longer work for gainful employment or enjoyment
so as I sit her crying inside
I see rain on a sunny day!

rainy day thoughs

I usually love rainy days. Today though it reflects my melancholy mood. I have tried to think of my favorite things, but alas they are not helping today. Rain drops on roses makes me think of sneezing as allergies tickle my noses. Whiskers on kittens makes me think of bad kittens who lost their mittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens makes me think of the freezing cold conditions. Brown paper packages tied up with strings makes me think of bombs and other hazardous things! Cream colored ponies, crisp apple strudels, doorbells, sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles make think of gaining pounds by the kaboodles. Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, make me think the sky must be falling and other crazy things. Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes; hope they don't get smeared with wood stove ashes! Snow flakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes, see I told you it was freezing I was not just sassin'.  Silver white winters that met into spring, makes me think of the flooding they will bring!

Sadness

If I had to choose one word which I feel describes my state of being today it would be sadness, possibly weary or exhausted might work as well. I have been through a lot in life, especially as a child, that no one should ever have to go through. I have made peace with my past forgiven those who have hurt me, even when no apology was extended. Knowing the forgiveness was for my sake and not theirs. I made a pact with myself that I would not continue the cycle, that I would learn from my experience and use it to help others.  Unfortunately I feel powerless to do just that, help others. I try to share my experiences and to help people see the way for themselves, I know I hate being told flat out how I should or shouldn't do something.  I know everyone must learn from their own mistakes, but it is so hard sitting back watching the train wreck wondering if I had tried harder if I could have stopped it...

Nursery Rhymes

I went looking for what was rattling around in my head today and I found Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes. Most of them I could only remember the first stanza of  and some were quite dusty to say the least. My poor grandmother would be most ashamed at the condition in which I have kept these prized possessions of my childhood. I am sad to say that I failed to pass them down to my son, and seems I was not the only one. Today's youth do not know what a nursery rhyme is or only know the most famous ones of Humpty Dumpty, and Hey Diddle Diddle.
A Few years back my front yard was decorated as a grave yard with tombstones each bearing the name of a Jack character, It was meant to be tongue in cheek, like Jack Sprat, Jack B. Nimble, Jack B. Quick, Jack Skellington and Jack O'Lantern. But as it grew every year I added more of the nursery rhyme characters again as a tongue in cheek poking fun at how the rhymes have faded away or "died" from our literature as screens replace books and grandma's in our society today.

Me, Myself, and I

Was having a good conversation the other day with Me, Myself, and I. We were talking about many important topics, such as why it is called common sense when apparently it is anything but common, and do schools not teach children how to think rather than what to think, and even more importantly, if college is to prepare you for the professional work place why do they not teach people skills and other interactive skills.
 Oh we went further down the rabbit hole with wondering how we became a society of entitled little brats. When did it go from children respecting their elders to parents working to serve their children and get them everything their little heart desires? What happened to teaching real life lessons like losing gracefully, saving for what you want, working to earn that savings, helping others not for the recognition, but because it is the neighborly  thing to do, makes you feel good, and instills a sense of gratitude for what they have.  
Then, gasp, we went even further, we started bashing technology. How the more connected we are to technology the more disconnected we are to those around us. We have lost the ability to send hand written sentiments, and are on the verge of losing the ability to have face to face conversations. We have forgotten the etiquette of communication, we say what we think with out stopping to think how it will be perceived by others. We have created a whole new "language" with text so much so that it is appearing outside of the "texting" realm. People think that just because they have their phone on them that they HAVE to check it every time they think it makes a noise or vibrates, and even worse people sending texts expect an IMMEDIATE response, not caring that the person receiving might currently be busy on an important task.  
 

I smell PURPLE

Have you ever closed your eyes and inhaled and smelled a scent so enticing that it brought to mind a color rather than an object, besides blueberry making you think of blue berries, and lavender making you think of lavender flowers and lilac thinking of lilac flowers. Think how certain colors make you feel, like for instance red makes some people feel passionate, so a spicy scent like cinnamon, mixed with a musky scent, and a touch of vanilla, or chocolate might make some one "smell" red. Blue is a cool color, it makes some people think of clear cold water, sunny skies, and babies eyes. Scents like spearmint, peppermint, eucalyptus, and menthol can make someone "smell" blue. My favorite scent combination is peppermint bark, chocolate and peppermint mixed together, I smell purple!

Welcome

Welcome one and all. Flights of fantasy will be a compilation of, well any and every thing that rattles and rolls around inside my head. From craft ideas, both magical and mundane, to short stories, and old memories. I have always said my life was a book that was better than fiction, and who knows maybe one day it may yet get published! So pull up a chair and sit for a spell, or two...